Saturday, September 22, 2007

Beyond Predictability

What is about the changing of a season that suddenly makes a person so frightfully aware of the changes occurring in their own life? What is it about looking outside your window, and at the glimpse of a blazing red autumn leaf, suddenly finding yourself lost in a whirlwind of memory, laughter and even regret? What is it about the days between the season's change that leave us in negligence of the frightening realities of our evolving lives? As I surveyed the first tell-tale signs of a New England autumn today, I realized how my life--in many ways--is reflected in those changing colors. Day to day my life changes and my dreams turn, but day to day my passions remain the same; constant like dull bark of a tree that remains the same--existing almost unnoticed beneath the flaming colors of the changing leaves it bears.

My soul is aching. I long to do something; to stand up and to fight. But I remain dull, unnoticed and yet strikingly unmoved. When will my release come? When will my sun crest the horizon? Must I keep waiting constantly for my liberty? I see in movies the popular storyline where changing the world happens unexpectedly; and commonplace circumstances come together by chance to create earth-shaking events that shift our lives forever. I read about men and women in the Bible who live until the age of 90 or so before their aspirations for greatness come to fruition. Is this to be my tale? A willing heart that waits for seemingly ever until at the last moment, opportunity knocks? Or is my lament a cop-out and am I simply looking the other way?

Man can spend a lifetime studying God and never really understand the ways in which He moves. Unexpected and unpredicted despite the prophecy of man. Subtle yet monumental despite the theology of His character. Abraham was told to look to the skies. Abraham was told that his descendants would be as many as the stars. Abraham was promised the future of mankind and the legacy that would shake history. Abraham was handed his dreams by an Almighty God. Then God was silent. All Abraham was left with was a barren, scoffing wife; a shocked expression and an inky black sky filled with millions of stars representing an impossible promise.

And in His own timing, in His own way, God moved.

There are passions in my heart which have shifted me. There are things in this world that tempt me to wonder at times if God is heartless. But there are things in this world that have shown me the face of God. And I have seen God move. I have known His heart of compassion. I know God, yet I do not know Him through and through.

All we can do is live this life passionately for Him and continue to yearn for the day when we will see our Savior face to face and everything else will fade in light of His glory.